There has been an increase in the surge of pickup artists five years ago.
Guys would hit the clubs, streets and malls to pick up beautiful ladies.
At first the task seems daunting.
What will I say?
The anxiety that you feel when you first want to approach a woman has been given it’s own term: “Approach Anxiety”!
There are many techniques that have been coined by different Pickup Artists such as Mystery from Toronto called “The 3 second rule” where as soon as you see a beautiful woman you would approach her within 3 seconds of laying eyes on her, anything longer than that, then the doubt and negative mental chatter kicks in.
Now, this may seem as a surprise to many, because some guys don’t have an issue at all with picking up women, it came naturally to them, either because they were born with this “gift” or simply because they were born with different circumstances.
Others, though, who may have not had much luck in their lives with the opposite sex, have had to go through the long, tough road of learning this art-form from scratch.
The whole thing becomes bewildering, though, because a huge surge of pick up artist coaches emerged from the underground each teaching their own technique of the “proper” way to pick up a woman.
Theres David DeAngelo with his “Double Your Dating” series, theres Neil Strauss with “The Game”, theres Juggler, and theres a whole nation! A nation called Real Social Dynamics lead by Tyler Durden (not the guy from Fight Club); among many, many others.
So, as a student, I used to go to these lairs, where guys would meet up and exchange ideas and experiences trying to help each other get past these hurdles that have been preventing up from living a most natural life. A life where we are free to express ourselves freely and show our love and affection for the opposite sex.
So we were being taught, essentially, how to be fake. We were given routines and things to say to a woman. Things that we would just memorize just so we would have something to say.
And they would work, we would speak with these women, ask for their “female opinion” because lets face it, people, especially girls, love to give their opinions, so we were told, and it was true, because the girls responded.
The girls actually responded to everything, for some reason that seems like a complete surprise. Every time we got a positive response we got a sense of accomplishment, and we would spend more time discussing the fact with the other guys than the interaction with the girl was.
So, looking back now, to how things were, it is really disappointing to be honest.
That we had to go through this in order to learn how to speak with another human being.
Like, what’s wrong with you, society?
How can things have gotten so fucked up that a man can’t even act upon his own desire freely. A completely natural one that is essential to human health and well being.
Of-course, given who I am today, I do not just accept the way things are and look for the solution. Because yes, on a level, that is a solution to get over ones “fear of women” or “fear of talking to women”. But why the problem exists in the first place.
Sometimes one does not need to delve into why the problem exists in the first place since one has found the solution, however, how do we prevent this from happening in the future.
At this time, I can only speak of myself, because I have not been around the pickup community for almost half a decade.
I, for one, remember the first girl that I fell in love with (at least the first girl I fell in love with that I can remember her name). It was in 3rd grade, she was a beautiful girl named Dana.
Yes, and it didn’t end very well either. She took my number and called my home once.
My mother threw a fit.
Not just me, I think the whole freaking school found out about the incident and it was freaking embarrassing.
So, the love that me and Dana once shared just turned to something awkward, strange and uncomfortable; thanks mom.
So this kind of thing happened a few times over, at different scales.
Maybe my mom was just a very jealous woman and wanted all my love for herself.
Theres other peculiarities like being allowed to have girls over our house. That is strictly prohibited. Bringing boys back home is okay, but bringing girls back home, thats a no no.
This, of course, in a psychological point of view, causes these problems and issues that boys and men have regarding the opposite sex.
In a more natural world, lets say going back a few hundred or thousand years, if you were just walking outside minding your own business and you met somebody else, you would play with them get to know them and have sex with them instantly.
This is probably why after a guy gets a girls phone number, movies are made about “when to call her” is it 2 days, 3 days or a week after the incident.
The girl, should she pick up the first time, how should she pick up, should she play it cool or pick up the phone in a sexy voice.
Sometimes beautiful relationships fail to even begin because if this completely messed up first step.
Well, anyway, heres the reason why I’m fucked up in the head.
But of course, it’s not just me.
But at least now I see the world in a more colourful way; thanks mom, but I’m still not talking to you.
To be honest with you now folks, picking up women is not that hard, you’ve just got to really want it/her and of course be ready to dispel the fact that it’s difficult to talk to women or whatever negative associations happened to happen regarding the opposite sex and your brain.
There is a lot of money being made of course because of guys insecurities and their inability to attract the women they desire, just like everything else in society.
In all cases, we gotta chose the life and lifestyle that we desire and make it happen.
But, here a little secret that the pickup community doesn’t tell you.
It doesn’t have to be this hard.
If all you want is a girlfriend and you haven’t gotten one already and you don’t want to pick up women on the streets or bars/clubs, theres options like speed dating and matchmakers who simplify the whole process for you, and give you the end result that you want super fast.
To Amazing Relationships
P.S. I’ll hopefully soon get a female opinion on this and have a guest post write about the female dynamic of this ordeal.